THE BRAVE SPACE: when we dare with care
As a learning experience designer, I put personal discovery at the core of my work. I conceptualize and facilitate experiences meant to take both myself, and the learners out of their comfort zone, experience something new, and through that encounter new parts of ourselves.
Experiences that transform are the ones that make profound shifts within. Such tectonic inner movements require courage and vulnerability and therefore safe space is a pre-condition for anybody to step into deep inquiry and untangle the feelings, beliefs, values, and stories that drive our behavior and perception of the world. One does not create such space with ice-breakers and energizers, but a curated process that builds multifaceted connections between all. Rather, we co-create a container that allows for the full humanness to show up: imperfect, messy, paradoxical, and yet appreciated for what it is. It’s a space that the facilitators and the participants shape together. An energetic field where we all lean into discomfort and dare with care.
A few months back I facilitated a session with experiences that allowed the participants to explore the inner moral conflicts and paradoxes they experience in their work. The group was international and diverse in many aspects allowing for much beauty and depth in the exploration.
After the session I got this feedback:
“A safe space for someone should not come at the cost of someone else’s discomfort.”
It got me thinking for real, wouldn’t the purpose of a safe space be to allow for discomfort to happen?
I realize that safety means different things to different people, yet ultimately it’s about showing up whole and authentic. And yes, this means that we will show up with our light and shadow sides which can cause discomfort and even activate trauma (inner or someone else’s).
So, while safety and comfort are related, they are different qualities of an experience. Safety is the perception/feeling of no danger, while comfort is a feeling of contentment. Getting used to or having the capability to feel safe when feeling uncomfortable is probably the birthplace of learning and change, both personal and collective. So the above-stated feedback is accurate because the session was meant to go beyond a safe space and shape a BRAVE SPACE.
My facilitation lesson from it would be that I would make that more explicit next time. To invite the participants not only to care for themselves and others but to dare with care, meaning: to listen with compassion, assume the highest positive intention for each other, and invite friction/disagreement and discomfort/pain as a portal to take us all on a higher level of awareness.
How does one facilitate a BRAVE SPACE?
With different facilitation communities, we keep on exploring these nuances of collective processes which are for many of us uncharted territories. Every group we facilitate is a new set of relationships, a new system and that’s what makes our work art and craft as an ever-evolving practice. Therefore, I hereby share a few elements required from us as facilitators to hold a BRAVE space:
B
… for the quality of BEING and presence. How am I while I am facilitating? Am I present to what’s unfolding as we are interacting together in the group? Can I serve to catalyze what wants to happen rather than what I want to happen? How do I need to be to invite everyone, including myself to show up in a brave way?
R
… for the quality of being able to listen and sense the RELATIONAL level. It’s not about the content, but the context, the connections, and their expansions and depth.
A
… for the AWARENESS to ASSUME POSITIVE INTENTION and ACCEPT IMPACT. This allows for compassion for all, and inherently believing we are born good. This assumption, means we tap into unconditional love for each other, while the impact means we listen with empathy to what authentic behavior/sharing may imply for some other people in the group. This way we welcome friction that would propel us to dialogue and learn from each others’ truths.
V
… for the quality to be VULNERABLE and as Brene Brown would put it – to “choose courage over comfort”. Brene also reminds us of the VAULT: “You don’t share information or experiences that are not yours to share.”
E
… for the quality to lean into EXPLORATION and EXPERIMENTATION. To invite people into a brave space is to invite everyone to try something new together. Therefore, this quality is rooted in curiosity and openness to explore new and different perspectives and empathize to understand them, so we all can lean into learning as we might shift those.
There is no such thing as a 100% safe space, cause as facilitators we can’t guarantee safety for everybody, but we can create spaces where we can be brave together. The above qualities could serve as guidance to get there, yet it’s worthwhile noting that it’s not merely about declaring them, but living them, which is a lifelong practice and not perfection. A dance on the edge of the knowing.